I Don't Wanna Go To Bed!

It's after 2am and I feel like I'm just getting started. All day long I rush around doing everything that is necessary to run a house and fufill my obligation to others, so that by the time normal people would be pillowing their heads, I'm itching to go into my office and have a long rendezvous with my computer. I kiss my husband and dogs goodnight, pour what's left of this morning's coffee into a mug and nuke it for a few minutes (yes, I do and it's really not that gross), make sure the pot is set to turn on at the proper time the next morning and that my husband's lunch is prepared; then I close my office door behind me and it's blessed silence without interruption for 2-3 hours, sometimes more (depending on the size of the coffee cup). I've never quite figured out what it is that turns me "on" at this time every night, but I've come to accept that it works for me and I get a lot of "my work" done this way, so why fight it? When the morning comes, it will take every ounce of willpower to roll myself out of bed before noon (and this is true whether I go to bed at 9pm the night before or 2 am the same day), so I figure while I'm awake and kicking that is the time for me to spring into action. It's amazing how much you can accomplish with several hours of uninterrupted time: get halfway through a brand new digital tracing of a sketch, redesign a whole web page, get a ton of that pesky online marketing stuff out of the way, update my business files, do some serious research on a new topic, and the most rewarding part is being able to actually cross some things off my To Do list before I do finally crawl into bed.

I spent a large part of my life up until this point (still a few years shy of 30) trying to figure out why I was so different from other people, and was constantly miserable. But when I realized that true beauty is in accepting yourself for who you are and then expressing it joyfully, I became a much happier person. Staying up late to get things done is just a small part of how I feel I've "matured" as an individual, but now that that's out of the way and I have found a consistent schedule that works for me, I am now free to work on all the other parts of me that need "polishing". Even if you don't know exactly where you're going yet, once you start to figure out who you really are, you'll know you're at least headed in the right direction.